How to let go of the perfectionist trap w/Patricia Arboleda

February 08, 2022 Brigitte Bojkowszky Season 5 Episode 60
How to let go of the perfectionist trap w/Patricia Arboleda
Show Notes Transcript

“The brand is super important. Don't ever take it for granted. Build your personal brand. Because if you don't do it, someone else will do it for you.” — Patricia Arboleda

“How to let go of the perfectionist trap?” This is a question many of us ask ourselves! The answer to that is relatively simple but tough to implement! 

💡Patricia Arboleda, a certified Breakthrough Executive & Leadership Coach, Former Fortune 500 Senior Executive, keynote speaker, and the Founder of Arboleda Coaching will dive deep into that question and will provide us with answers and invaluable advice we can put right into action.

💡She also guides us through her corporate and individual coaching programs, in which she empowers driven women and LatinX leaders to accelerate their success, take their careers to the next level, and break through barriers to build the futures that they want and deserve. 

💡Moreover,  Patricia gives us her take on personal branding and  what it means in the context of leadership and organizations. Lastly she provides us with some helpful tips of how to strengthen our personal brand in order to shine brightly. 

As a Latina woman, with 25+ years of corporate experience in Corporate America, Patricia knows firsthand what obstacles stand in the way for female and LatinX leaders. 

Patricia has a clear mission, which is to help advance women and LatinX in leadership to finally close the gaps that keep them playing smaller than they should, stuck in a carousel of perfectionism, and trapped by their own limiting beliefs.

Get in touch with Patricia Arboleda:
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Get in touch with Brigitte Bojkowszky:
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Ready for brand stories get inspired and learn from thought leaders, CEOs, business owners, and managers who tell their brand stories who share their valuable insights from their own experience. Welcome to BrandsTalk. I'm your host Brigitte. For print lovers this show is to help you develop and grow your brand in a more strategic and sustainable way. Walk the Talk. Let's get started and dive with me into the world of brands. I'm excited to have Patricia Arboleda on my show today. She is a certified breakthrough executive and leadership coach, former fortune 500 Senior Executive keynote speaker and the founder of Arboleda coaching. Through her corporate and individual coaching programmes she empowers driven women and Latinos leaders to accelerate their success, take their careers to the next level and break through barriers to build the futures they want and deserve as a Latina woman. With 25 years plus of corporate experience in corporate America. Patricia knows firsthand what obstacles stand in the way for female and Latino leaders. I warmly welcome Patricia Arboleda. Welcome to BrandsTalk. Thank you so much, Bridget. I'm super happy to be here with you today. And beautiful day Sunny. So what else can we ask for? Right? Actually, yes, beautiful, sunny at your place in Miami, beautiful sunny here at my place in Los Angeles. What can we ask for more, right? I'm also very happy to have you as my guest today, Patricia. And I'm really impressed with what you're doing. Can you tell us a little bit about your background before we dive into what you're doing about your journey that brought you right there where you are now, of course, so thank you. So as you might hear from my accent, I am Latina. I was born in Colombia and grew up there as well. And because of my Latin culture, I was brought up with the belief that I had to constantly prove myself, right. They drove me into always wanting to be kind of like the Superwoman looking to excel at everything I did, and always taking on more than what I really needed. So I started working in the IT industry. In 1999. I moved to Spain, and I was there for a few years and then moved to the US where I have been for the last 14 years. Through those years, I moved up the executive ladder. But the reality is that I was working tirelessly every day, always trying to outwork the nagging voice in my head, that was telling me that I had to be perfect. So the thing was that despite every accolades that I would receive, or the promotions, or any executive meetings that I joined, or the titles I was given, I always felt that it was never, never enough. So the more I did, the more I get chasing, and I never kind of really feel that fulfilment, that I thought that the next goal would give me so 15 years into my career, I was actually really feeling exhausted, drained and feeling empty. And I'm sure that many of us find ourselves feeling that way. sometime. I was travelling around the world with very little time to myself really focused on working and dealing with a huge pressure to get results and I mean, always focused on getting my my teams very motivated and engaged. But he got to a point where one day I was almost completely burned out. And I realised that something had to change. I mean, I couldn't continue working that way. Because I was gonna I was risking to really lose who I really was right and my authenticity. So I needed to get help and start doing things in a different way. So I hired the coach and executive coach and he really helped me change My perspective of life. And the shift was incredible. It was, It's really amazing how, by having someone who was there to help me accountable into stepping into my talents and my passions, and what really motivated me, made a big difference. And so after more than two decades in the corporate world, couple of years ago, I knew that it was time for me to do something new and embark in a new journey. And that's a little bit about what I did. Thank you for sharing that with us. And I can totally relate with you because I'm also having kind of a limiting belief that I'm not good enough. And I also constantly, therefore, outperformed in order to be seen, and then to having to be perfect. And there's also, yeah, you're dealing differently with a way of overcoming that. So my way out of this dilemma was to go on a soul searching mission and reading and listening to podcasts and putting things with pen to paper. So that was my way of dealing with it. Great. So back to your journey. And your story. Patricia, you have started your own business in 2020. So what made you do this both step into starting your own business into enterpreneurship. And what made you want to become your own boss? So thank you for asking. And so the reality is that I have always been an individual who's very motivated about making a difference in people's lives. So that's kind of my key motivator, right? Making a difference. And so I wanted to look for something that would allow me to really focus on what provided purpose or what was aligned with my purpose. I am someone who has always been very passionate about people's development. And helping people grow as a leader throughout my career in corporate that was kind of what I really enjoyed about being a leader. And I have always also consider myself to be a change agent. So I decided that I wanted to spend the rest of my I don't know, 2020 years of my career that I have in front of me doing something that provided a little bit more fulfilment for me, which is by doing what I loved. So I decided to get the training and certification on executive coaching and leadership coaching. And then I decided that I wanted to focus on women mainly and Latinos, mainly because being a woman and being from Latin origin, I wanted to give women and Latinos the tools that I wish I had many years ago, right, to be able to make a difference in their lives, so that they don't have to go through the years of overworking, overwhelm and overperforming like I did, I mean, helping them advance in their careers without the limiting beliefs, like you were saying, of we need to be perfect, and and so empowering and lifting them so that they are ready to take on senior leadership roles as well. If we put that into a mission statement. So my mission is to help advance women and Latinos in leadership, and finally, close the gap that has been keeping them playing smaller than what they should, okay. People get stuck in the carousel of perfectionism and trapped by their own limiting beliefs. And basically, I want to help them advance into what they consider being success success for them. Because he doesn't always be. It's not always the same. I mean, success for me can be something different than what it is for you. So one of the things that I do first is to help them understand what success means for them. And so then helping it helping them advance fine tune their executive presence and create opportunities for career advancement in or outside the corporate world, whatever they decide they want to do. And also helping them build tools to have an unshakable mindset. So get rid of those limiting beliefs and be and get rid of that internal voice that sometimes stop helps us from moving forward. That's so beautiful. Why don't you go a little bit deeper? How such a programme looks like? What you are offering? Exactly. Yeah. So basically, let's just start with what I have found that normally women are looking right women or established professionals and leaders are looking. So the reality is that what we're looking for is to thrive and grow, okay? And authentically, right, we want to be able to be authentic, sometimes, Latinos, or women, we, we are faced with the the belief that we need to switch on and be someone, someone that we are now just to fit in. Right. So the first thing is to help them be successful in their authentic style, right. I also help them be confident and create more impact. They are encouraged to share their ideas and to have an equal opportunity to drive organisations forward. So I offer executive coaching, action driven leadership training. I do Korea work with them on understanding what their Korean strategy are. I work on success mindset programmes, both for individuals and organisations of any size. So just to as a side note, I would like to share with you that more than 80% of the people that have participated in the programmes have either been promoted, or they move to another company doing what they really love, or they transitioned out of corporate and launch their own businesses. So in a nutshell, people get clarity. And they overcome their most common and important challenges, internal and external, they are able to enhance their strengths, and and develop their skills and also understand what are the high achieving habits that will help them rise, they're able to grow their network and build a strong power base. They as I was mentioning, before, they feel confident and empowered to set themselves apart. And the most important thing is that what people get out of the programme is the fulfilment and the joy of having a purpose for career and a balanced life. So that's on the side of the individuals. Now, if we think about corporations, because I do a lot of programmes for corporations. So what I'm doing is basically helping corporations enhanced their diversity programmes. Because it's not only to hire diverse people, I mean, and have diverse teams, but also giving the tools to the people in the organisation to to cope with the challenges that they face being minorities, right, and sometimes these it that starts with building the confidence and the empowerment and all of those different things. So with the programmes, they're also able to increase the pipeline of diverse leaders, I mean, people feeling ready to step up and take on senior leadership positions. They also boost engagement, productivity, and of course, with a good and strong diversity, revenue increases, and confidence in all, in all areas. So that's basically some of the benefits that people have shared, that they can get from the programmes. So important to have confidence that you can do something and then also the clarity, having a roadmap of how to get there want to be in the future, right? Having this right vision. Yeah, having the vision, having the vision is important. Understanding why you want to do it is also important, right? And, and understanding also that you need to be flexible, because things are going to change along the way. So you might, you might have a clearer understanding of where you want to go and why. But you need to also be flexible to change the path as needed. And so that's why when people think or start thinking about something they want to do, but they don't do it because they're waiting for the perfect time and to have like the all the plan ready. I mean, I tell them just start because the plan is going to change I mean nothing is going to be set in stone. So while you start and you start doing things then the the answers will Come along, and you'll find a way. Yeah, the things will fall into its place. You cannot control everything. And we have seen in the last couple of years, what it means that things just change on the next day, and you have to change your business model and pivot accordingly. Yeah. I mean, having an overall vision, you know, want to go but then also have an understanding that the way of how you get there might be different than you think it's going to be that you have detours that there are the roadblocks in between that you have to overcome. And it's a learning. Yeah, it's not a failure. It's something that enriches your life, and makes you accumulate more. Yeah, you learned from those experiences as well? Yeah. A lot. Yeah. So Patricia, by all what you're doing, as a business owner, you also have built up thought leadership and thereby your own personal brand that shines bright and personal branding, also a key topic in your business. So therefore, I would like to ask you, what does a personal brand mean to you? Okay, so that's very, thank you for asking that. Because it's very important. So when, when you're in, or this is a mistake that I have found, and I learned from it, while I was dealing corporate, we have a tendency to think that our brand is our title, or the role that we have, or the company that we work for. And basically, the reality is that people don't follow titles, they don't follow the company. If you want your brand, you need to develop your own brand, right? So because the personal brand, is what tells who you are, okay, what you stand for, the things that make you unique, your values and the difference that you make. And, and well, having a personal brand is something that people don't always think about, it's the reality is that it is something that we all need to have, and that we all have, even if we don't think we do, because our reputation is our brand. So we might as well just focus on having and controlling what we want to be known for. Right. Exactly. Exactly. And what influenced us being a personal brand, have a leadership and why should we be cognizant of that? Well, a good leader is the leader that can influence people and build relationships, right. And so when you're building relationships, you want people to get to know who you are, again, and what you stand for people follow people, not titles. And, and so that's why it is so important to have your personal brand, and to have people recognise your values and what makes you different than the others. I mean, we can all have, or many people may have the same title, let's say VP of marketing, and we have many VPs of marketing, right? But that doesn't say really anything about who you are. And, and so as I was saying, and now after COVID, it's even more important than ever, the soft skills, the emotional intelligence, the being able to be vulnerable, and create empathy. And believe it or not, when you need to build your brand, and express what you stand for, you're also being vulnerable, because you're letting people get to know who you really are and what and what you value. And so that's it requires a little bit of self awareness and, and courage also, to be able to work on that. Exactly, because a lot of people think that being vulnerable, showing yourself out there is nothing that you want to do. So that's are keeping themselves from stepping into that courage to show their vulnerability and that means also living by your values. That means being authentic as a leader. And by doing so you also inspire you inspire others to follow you. And I think that also means to be a strong leader to show to be a strong leader. And also when it is in the context of an organisation. I think behind every successful organisation are human beings are the personal brands, that make organisations strong. Yeah. And like we were saying, I'd been relationships, there was John Maxwell saying that if you're, if you're gonna be a leader in you don't love the people that you lead, then don't lead them because you really need to. I mean, take care of the people that you're influencing and understand and be able to put yourself in their shoes as well. So that you can understand and being empathetic and, and that's all part of the vulnerability and your values and living off by your values. So if we summarise that, do you have any helpful advice of, let's say, three different factors that need to be in place, that we can strengthen our personal brand to be our authentic self, and that allows us to our brilliance and step into the courage and claim our power? Yeah, so we were talking before about the importance of having clarity and confidence, right. And some of that comes from self awareness. So I would say that the first thing that you need to start building on and really connecting with is allowing yourself to observe and become self aware of who you are. And also, what you want to do, and why. Because when you're building your brand, you're not building your brand, only based on what you're doing now, but what you want to do in the future, as well, because that is kind of helping you drive that path into where you want to go. And now the other thing that is important is understanding how the skills that you have used in the past are going to help you get there, all of those different things together, help you build your brand, right? And so, like we were saying, understanding what you want to do, and why be able to recognise your strengths and, and define and be clear on what you want to be known for. So what are your key attributes and, and things that I mean, are non negotiable for you, as well as the values that you stand for. And it's always good, you know, to also as feedback from people and be able to sometimes it's difficult to recognise our strengths or areas of opportunity. So when we do 360s, or when we ask people for feedback, it also allows us to understand what's our reputation how people perceive us, and then we are able to see if there is a disconnect, and how we can close the gap. Yeah, this external validation, this feedback is so important, because it very often is not aligned with how we think you are showing ourselves to the world. You think you're not good enough, and then you get the feedback, Hey, you come across totally different. So there's a gap. And that is encouraging. It gives you the strength and the power and courage to make the next step. Right, and you have a very important point. And when you feel that you're not good enough, and people perceive you in a different way, that's approved that that belief is just in your mind, in reality, when something is not a reality, why would you act or behave according to something that is not true? So when we understand that some of those limiting beliefs are not true, and are just something that we heard or we we saw when we were little, and we created a representation of that in our mind, and subconscious mind and we created that belief about something. When we come to realise that some of those things are not real, then we're able to say okay, make a decision. I mean, am I going to continue? I mean, basically addressing my life based on a belief that is or something that is not true. And take decisions to change and shift your and reframe and rewire your brain, which are some of the things that we do, as well as part of the coaching. Yeah, exactly. I totally. Okay, any advice for corporates who want to shift to solopreneur ship and want to become their own boss, do you have any key branding essentials to take away, for those that start out that are going through that transition, I would say that the one thing that I would like to I mean that I always recommend, and it's my tagline, or My motto is, don't be perfect, be courageous. And, as we were saying before, I mean, sometimes that need to do everything perfectly or to to be perfect or be the Superwoman or have a perfect plan in front of us to be able to step and move forward is not real. So when we accept that we don't need to be perfect, and instead, we decide to be courageous. And being courageous means that even if you feel fear of the unknown, because when you're transitioning from a life of like, in my example, I mean, 25 years in corporate, and all of a sudden, you're gonna move and shift to do something completely new. Right? There is fear, because that is an unknown. But the thing is that even when we feel fear, we need to step up and move forward and be courageous. And that's basically the one thing that I would like to, I mean, for people to remember, don't be perfect, be courageous. And don't wait, don't do you have the perfect plan. Because otherwise you're going to be stuck there, overthinking things, and you're never going to do what you love. So take action, be flexible and be ready to shift gears. as things unfold. Yeah, this fear that very often keeps us from making the next step. And you really have to face the fear head on, go into it. And then usually, most time of the cases there is nothing to fear about. Nothing happens. It's also in our minds. That is our thoughts that are keeping us from actually taking action. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. All right. There's a lot to overcome and a lot to, yeah, learn in life. And getting out there in the uncomfortable and leaving this comfort zone, because then it's the place where we can grow. The place where we leave, it's the place where we learn, it's the place that enriches our lives. And that helps us to get there where we want to be sooner or later. Right? It is very comfortable to stay in the saddle school, right? To stay there without really forcing or, or challenging ourselves to do anything different. In fact, that's also one of the things that we work on the programme is to understand what are the things that you need to do to break out of the status school put together an action plan, how you're going to measure it, and then move forward. Right? And fear we have fear all the time. I mean, I just a few days ago, I posted something on jumping out of the plane with a parachute. Yes, I've seen it. Great. I am absolutely afraid of heights. I mean, I don't like roller coasters, for example. But for me, that was a huge challenge to be able to jump out of the aeroplane and aeroplane I do it. And right before the having the experience. I was feeling a lot of adrenaline and you know that emotion of oh my gosh, how is this going to be? But then when did it it was amazing. And so after the experience, and on top of that, I did it with my son. So it was all very special. And after doing it, I took a moment to reflect on the experience and and I thought, okay, if I had, if I had allowed my fear to stop me from doing it, I would have lost the opportunity to experience this, which is wonderful and amazing. So that's just a real life example of how we need to just keep and push ourselves to do the things that we think we I mean, we love even if we feel fear. Yeah, that's a beautiful story because we would miss out so much in our life that beautiful and exciting. And yeah, it would just be part of our life that is missing. Yeah, right. Exactly. We have to face it. Good. So we are coming to the end of our show. Patricia, I would like to do a quick vert wrap with you. Are you ready? To give me short answers, yeah of course. Okay cool, courageous. So is taking action without even if you feel fear, okay? Mindset mindset so you can have a strong mindset, successful mindset or you can allow your, your mindset to stop you so you better build a successful mindset. I love this answer horses. I am passionate about horses actually and soon probably going to be launching a new programme of leadership coaching with horses so that's it's beautiful. I get the certification last year in Spain and it was amazing. Beautiful. Beautiful love that. And last but not least brands. The brand, super important. Don't ever take it for granted. Build your brand. build your personal brand. And because if you don't do it, someone else will do it for you. Okay, that's true. Absolutely. So never let anyone else define you. As personal brand or as a brand. Yeah. All right, Patricia, on listeners who would like to find you and know more about you? Where will they find you? So they can find me on LinkedIn as Patricia Arboleda executive coach on Instagram as Arboleda coaching, or on my website, Arboleda And if they want to contact me, they can always send me an email but receive at valida coaching. I'll be happy to connect. Thank you so much, Patricia for being my guest today. It was really enjoyable. It was delightful having you great conversation about personal brand about overcoming limiting beliefs and facing fear head on and getting rid of the perfectionist. Exactly. Thank you so much, Patricia. Thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure. Thank you so much. And that was my conversation with Patricia Arboleda. If you liked my show, head over to and sign up for my newsletter to never miss an episode. I look forward to welcoming you in my community. Also, don't forget to subscribe to my Brandstalk podcast on your preferred app. share it on social media and if you find a minute or two, leave a quick grading or review. Thank you so much. I hope you will stay tuned in on the next episode. When we dive into the world of brands.